The window of time right after you leave the stage.  You know, when the adrenaline is still pumping and everything is magnified – that’s when I am at my most vulnerable.  I stand at the door and personally thank each audience member for coming to see the show and this has led to some pretty memorable moments.  The following comments are from major studio execs, book publishers, talent agents, theatre producers, and more.

‘I’m with Harper Collins and I’m offering you a huge book deal.  Now.  Here’s my card.’

‘You will never worry about money for the rest of your life.  I’m an agent at CAA.  Call me.’

‘You will star in every film I make. You’re the next Eddie Murphy and then some.  Let’s meet this week at Sony.’

‘I will personally introduce you to Will Smith and he will LOVE you.  Call my office.  Seriously.’

‘In six months you will need a personal assistant because you’re going to be in high demand and I’m the one who will get you there.’

These comments are usually followed by countless meetings and lots of phone calls that make you feel like you’re dreaming.  My nickname for these meetings is the ‘Evian Tour’ because every meeting begins with the assistant handing you a bottled water.  I spent more time in the bathroom than I did in meetings.

Inevitably the meetings died down and things didn’t move quite as fast as I was led to believe.  After months of unreturned phone calls and dealing with their selective amnesia I was left with an empty feeling.  I kept asking myself: Is everybody in this business fake?  Needless to say it was a discouraging experience.  But I also learned a valuable lesson.

A verbal commitment is only as good as the paper it’s written on.

There is nothing more plentiful in this business than promises. How do you know what’s real and what’s bullshit?

Because if it’s real you’ll have it in written form and you’ll have it soon.

With no accountability you have no leverage.  Broadway/West End producers and Hollywood execs can and will ignore your phone calls in ways you never thought possible.  Unless you stop chasing them.  Once I stopped calling these people four times a week the smoke cleared and I was able to manage my expectations in a productive manner.  It is impossible to make concrete business decisions when emotion is involved and performers are emotional people. Learning to remove emotion from the equation helped me realize that out of the 20 or 30 people who wanted to be ‘in the Kahlil business’ only four of them were willing to put it in writing and commit to finances and a time frame.

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In the International Bestseller Four Hour Work Week Tim Ferriss often refers to the Pareto principle.  The Pareto principle (also known as the 80-20 rule, or the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.  In other words everything that glitters ain’t gold so stop waiting for it to shine.  Make the best use of your time by concentrating on the ‘promises’ that have accountability attached.  No return call after three tries?  Move on.  Emails not being answered?  Delete.  Time is money.

Be gracious, be thankful but get real.  People are what they do not what they say.  Don’t be afraid to make people put their money where their mouth is when it comes to your career.  You’ve worked so hard to get here and you don’t get what you deserve – you get what you negotiate.  NEVER sign anything on the spot and never sign away all of your rights. Need some legal advice?  Comment on this post and we’ll point you in the right direction.

People in this business can only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  Stand your ground and find your 80/20.

Kahlil (at) gigsmacked (dot) com

As a performer it kills me to see my fellow actors and performers getting duped. It’s usually by the same kinds of people every time. You know the ones. ‘Do you want to be the next Hannah Montana or Ashton Kutcher? Then you need to come down to the SnakeNavel Convention Center and audition for our top agents and managers this Saturday from 10am to blahblahblah.’  Ads in the paper or on a website promising casting info or introductions to casting directors, agents or producers for a fee.   This is a multi-BILLION dollar criminal industry.

Like a slimy used car salesman they’ll promise you the stars and deliver zero.

Question: How do you know if you’re being taken advantage of?
Answer:  Below are the most common scams and how to spot them. (thanks to the Better Business Bureau for their help on this)

Beware of any person, company or organization who:

1. Asks for up-front money, which may be called “registration,” “consultation,” or “administrative” fees. Legitimate agents work on a commission. They don’t get any money until you get paid for doing the work they have obtained for you.
2. Pressures you to leave a check or cash deposit or sign a contract immediately. (I’ve been repped by William Morris and ICM and never had to sign a contract.) The agent may insist that you take acting lessons at a particular school or from a particular teacher; or may try to get you to buy expensive photographs, audition tapes, or other services or materials sold by someone he or she suggests. An agent’s time should be spent finding work for his or her client, not selling products and services. One of the biggest complaints from casting people? Actors spend WAY too much money on photos that don’t even look like the person who walks in the door. Money doesn’t make you photogenic.
3. Displays pictures of famous models or celebrities on the walls to make you believe they are represented by that agency, although they’re not.

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4. Uses names which sound similar to well-known agencies. Fraudulent companies will sometimes do this to give the incorrect impression that they are connected to a legitimate entity.

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5. Places phony ads in the help wanted section of newspapers that say something like, “new faces wanted” for commercials, movies or modeling or claim that “no experience is necessary.”

6. Charges you money to speak with agents over the phone. There are several websites who do this. Agents and managers are busy people but they won’t charge you to speak to them. They may not return your calls right away but that’s part of the game. No one should charge you on their behalf.

Problems or complaints about an agent or an agency may be referred to the Better Business Bureau, state Department of Licensing and Regulation or consumer protection agency in the city where the company is located. To obtain helpful consumer information on a particular agency, you will need to contact the local BBB that serves that particular city.

There is no magic formula for success. Following your heart will take you to greater heights than following your wallet.   If it sounds too good to be true…well, you know the rest.  Here’s to your success!

-Kahlil at GigSmacked dot com

We want to hear from you on this.  I’ve snuck into a few of these ‘conventions’ and ‘agencies’.  The dishonest business practices are shocking. Share this with your friends, family and colleagues and let us know what you think.