Just before Christmas this year, I was at a friend’s dinner party….OK it was more of a “come to my house and get drunk, but look nice” party…and as I walked through the door with my wife, I was almost literally knocked over by a random guy who was holding a drink (probably his 4th or 5th) who opened with: “You’re an Agent with Feldman right?? I’m in a band…blah blah blah”
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YES! And I don’t even have my coat off yet! My wife, who has experienced this with me before, was telepathically sending me messages to not crush the hopes and dreams of this poor guy.
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Now, I know how exciting it can be to meet me given my sheer good looks and incredible wit, but trust me, I’m A LOT more friendly with a beer in my hand, some good hummous in front of me and some “normal” conversation. As a rule, being aggressive with me or any other agent or manager, doesn’t work!
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Here is the recipe that would have been actually really successful with me in this circumstance:
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Let me get my coat off. No matter what you say to me when I walk in the door, what I’m thinking is “Where’s the beer? Where’s the hummous? Who’s here?” – in that order.
Find a way to get into a conversation that we’re having that is unrelated to your career in any way.
One of 3 things will then happen: someone will introduce you, I will introduce myself or you can introduce yourself. DO NOT mention you’re in a band, that you’re a plate spinner, that you write poetry, that you’d like to get published and could use my help, etc.
Like in any normal social human communication at a party, I am likely to ask you what you do. Wait for it.
If I find out by asking, I’m far more interested in asking more questions. Don’t start asking me a million questions right away. Industry like to help; we won’t avoid talking to you, even if we’re not interested in repping you.
Your goal leaving shouldn’t be to walk away with a new agent. It should be to have the ability to send me an email that I will either respond to or forward on to someone else in the industry.
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The moral of the story is that if I uncover what you do, as I ask you questions and you give me some of your accomplishments and career highlights, I am 1000 times more likely to want to help you out. If you give me the hard pitch, especially in a social situation, I’m out. The hummous is calling my name!
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- Justin Sudds – Gigsmacked.com
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Performing on stage more effectively will allow you to engage audiences in ways you never thought possible. It’s the stuff standing ovations are made of. In my consulting business I am often hired to coach performers and keynote speakers on this subject and there isn’t enough room here to cover all of it. Sorry. BUT-here are five simple yet effective secrets that are the most common weaknesses among performers of all genres. And just think: you get them for free!
1. Acknowledge the power of stillness and USE IT. Do not move unless you have a purpose. There is nothing more amateur than prancing around the stage trying to fill the space. It tires you out and it’s boring to watch. Concise, specific movements can tell the story/song/message just as well as dialogue or lyrics. Bono does this beautifully. So does James Earl Jones. The magic of live performance is taking the audience on a journey of excitement and discovery with as little movement as possible. This welcomes them to fill in the rest of the stage with their imagination. Or your monster set.
2. Learn to use and take care of your voice. It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. Enunciation and proper breathing from your diaphragm will save your vocal chords and give you a boost of priceless energy. If your shoulders move up and down when you breathe on stage, you’re not breathing correctly. Bruce Eckstut in Los Angeles is a Juilliard trained voice coach that worked wonders for my voice as well as Jason Alexander, Helen Hunt and many more. Look him up. Don’t hire some hack who’s never done anything. Best voice advice I ever got for doing TONS of gigs in a row? I use this before every show. No citrus. No eucalyptus. No alcohol. No ice. No gargling salt water. That one kills me. Salt on your vocal chords? C’mon.
3. Learn how to rehearse. Putting in ten hours of rehearsal at once may sound impressive but it’s counterproductive. 3-4 hours of concentrated rehearsal on specific things is the most effective. If you’re on tour then rehearse a different section of the show during sound check at each location. It keeps it from getting monotonous and gives you a way to gradually implement things. Practice makes perfect. And whenever possible rehearse in front of mirrors.
4. Tape your shows. Video doesn’t lie. We all have these fantasies about how cool we look on stage but if you look like a bobble headed booger wolf in heat and the audience isn’t with you chances are the video will tell it loud and clear.
5. Leave them wanting more. The people who buy tickets to our gigs – our audiences – are our employers. You need to acknowledge them as appropriate during the performance without making them sick of you. Do your thing, do it well, and get off the stage. Longer onstage does not translate to stronger on stage. I shake hands with every person leaving the theater after the show and thank them for coming.
-Kahlil Ashanti, GigSmacked.com
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The people you surround yourself with can keep you from reaching greatness or they can be the one thing that keeps you grounded. Here’s what happens if you don’t know
the difference:
Duffy went from a film deal with Harvey Weinstein and gracing magazine covers to has-been in record time.
His downfall? 1. Smelling his own piss. (Believing his own press)2. Mixing friends and family with business.
The problem with hiring family or friends in the entertainment business is two-fold:
Emotional attachment:It is impossible to make smart creative and business decisions when emotion is involved. You need to be able to step back. Separate yourself from the situation and look at things objectively and make the call without flinching. If your mom is managing your career and is obviously in over her head how do you tell her to buzz off? Answer is don’t hire her in the first place. I’m a parent. If my kid is kicking butt at something I’d want him to have the best person possible to make sure he’s on the right track. Doesn’t mean I can’t check in on them here and there. There’s a fine line between concern and interference.
Family and friends want to protect you. I get it. But the ‘you’ they have known all these years will have to evolve significantly in order to face the temptations and challenges of succeeding in this business. Learn to separate the ‘old home you’ from the ‘work you’. They need to let go of the old you and give you room to grow. Your past can either propel you to success or hold you back. My past is nothing to brag about (it’s actually pretty horrible) but it is also my biggest advantage because to hide it is fake and won’t hold up in the long term. Keep your eyes on the prize.
NOTE: If you happen to hate your family’s guts then consider yourself at an advantage. Chances are they won’t be working for you anyway so skip this bit.
Maybe your family gives you useful input. Great. But you need to know where to draw the line. If you are among the lucky few who have a competent team of professionals with your best interest at heart working their butts off for you there is no need to jeopardize that relationship by second-guessing their guidance. The very nature of growing your brand and an intricate part of any major career evolution is that it has to be broken down in order to be built back up.
Expectations:I am closer to my friends than I am with most of my family. My buddy from Tops In Blue was the best man at my wedding. Would I hire him to manage my career or affairs? Nope. And he doesn’t expect me to. A lot of the business decisions you’ll have to make may be what’s best for your career but not in the best interest of your friendship. The phrase ‘we started this together’ is a slippery slope so beware of people who are hanging on to your coat tails with this sly form of guilt. You don’t owe anybody a damn thing. And the world doesn’t owe you anything either. When you hire an industry professional who may not know you but is passionate about your work everybody starts on even ground. Someone who doesn’t know you takes you at face value and all their decisions are clear and transparent. They’re not afraid to piss you off, and you’re not afraid to give them a piece of your mind. This is how business relationships work, as long as you don’t start talking about each other’s mamas you’ll make lots of money together and enjoy a successful career.
With success comes a lot of guilt which we’ll cover in another post. Remember that the sacrifices your family and friends have made to support you on your journey don’t come with strings attached. Thank them by being successful and never forgetting where you came from. And mention GigSmacked.com in your awards acceptance speech. (kidding)
It’s Showbusiness. Not ShowFriends.
-Kahlil Ashanti, GigSmacked.com
I know there are some successful family/friends situations out there but it’s very rare. Agree or Disagree? Is it working for you? Share your secrets! We’re here to shed as much light on this subject as possible. ReTweet, Facebook, and share this post. Let’s keep the dialogue going!
Thought you might find this useful, these apps seem to be everywhere.
I’m not a musician but I’m on the road a lot and it never hurts to have some extra tools in my pocket. Heard a lot of good things about TripCase (travel organizer) as well.
